4:44 in the afternoon and I suddenly felt so sad. The gloomy sky, the depressing sound of the waves, and the thought of spending the night alone added up to the cheerless and depressing atmosphere of the place. Tonight will be my 4th night in Pinamalayan. And it’s just become boring each night. The first night was spent with the 3 teams, with drinking sessions; the 2nd and 3rd with one team; and now, I’ll be all alone. The survey teams have arrived at 12 noon after their 10-hour observation in Bongabong and Bulalacao and left after I've downloaded the data from their instruments.
I know there is more to what I have described that put up the sadness that’s in me right now. “I’m just on emo-mode”, I thought. But no. I just found out 2 reasons: (1) the projects going to end; and (2) Ate Lala will soon be leaving for Australia probably by October.
Life is a constant change ikanga. Ang ganda nga naman ng lyrics ng kanta ni Jose Mari Chan:
We’re on the road
We move from place to place
And oftentimes when I’m about to call it home
We’d have to move along
Life is a constant change
We move from place to place
And oftentimes when I’m about to call it home
We’d have to move along
Life is a constant change
The friends we know we meet along the way
Too soon the times we share form part of yesterday
‘Cause life’s a constant change
And nothing stays the same, oh no
Too soon the times we share form part of yesterday
‘Cause life’s a constant change
And nothing stays the same, oh no
Clouds that move across the skies
Are changing form before our very eyes
Are changing form before our very eyes
Why couldn’t we keep time from movin’ on?
Hold on to all the years before this moment’s gone?
Why must we live the days at such a frightening pace?
Hold on to all the years before this moment’s gone?
Why must we live the days at such a frightening pace?
We’re all like clouds that move across the skies
And changing form before our very eyes
And changing form before our very eyes
Have we outgrown our Peter Pans and wings?
We’ve simply grown too old for tales of knights and kings
‘Cause life’s a constant change
And nothing stays the same, oh no.
We’ve simply grown too old for tales of knights and kings
‘Cause life’s a constant change
And nothing stays the same, oh no.
Indeed, nothing really stays the same. Everything changes. At lahat ay may hangganan...This is just the sad reality of life. Though we want to hold on to something that we love so much... Something that we've become accustomed to doing or feeling -- still we have to let it go. Masakit nga lang isipin at tanggapin na kung kailan nakita mo na yung isang lugar kung saan ka masaya ay kailangan mong bitawan ito at pakawalan.
The Project is ending, and Ate Lala will soon be leaving. Should I be sad? I just am but I know I shouldn't be. I remember the negative impacts of being attached to this world from the homily of Fr. Mario. Sabi ni Father, being attached to your talents, your beauty, your wealth -- makes you proud and being too attached to your loved ones, friends, and even experiences -- makes you weak. You'll be too weak to let go of these things and when they go - you'll just go broken-hearted and frustrated.
Hence, it is my challenge now not to get too attached to either of these things. Pero andito na eh. I remember myself in the past, secluding myself from people and it didn't turn out well. I guess, the remedy would be to hold to God and to always look on the brighter side.
May takipsilim man, may bukang-liwayway din...hehe.(don't know if this is the right phrase). There's a rainbow always after the rain. Kung may katapusan, may bagong simula. With God in command, I shall be waiting for the new start to happen.
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