Four months ago (that was February 3, 2014), I was offered a job in
Saudi Arabia after being interviewed through skype. It was something I never
really expected I would get. After which they’ve promised to process the
working visa for me to get to Saudi the soonest possible time. The visa came by
the third week of May and slowly I started to get less and less interested for
the job. I had a hard time considering the pros and cons of working abroad.
Will it be worth it?
Although I’ve already processed some papers like my preliminary medical examinations,
I was still in doubt that when Erwin told me something like, “The pay is not
that good, bro!. It’s not worth it”, I finally informed the agency processing
my papers last Monday that I won’t be pushing through with the application.
Realizing however that the opportunity could be somehow an opportunity given
to me by God for me to learn more of my profession, to improve myself or
something only God knows, I started questioning my decision. After all, the
only thing that hold me back from going abroad is actually my debt to my
manager who offered 50k during the typhoon Yolanda, of which I know I still
could not afford to pay as of the moment.
Just yesterday, my sister gave me back the money I’ve lent her a couple
of months ago. This led me into thinking that God is somehow taking control
over this decision and I know I have to consider it again. I’ve asked for some
signs last night and He answered me this morning. It was in the form a status
message from a friend in Facebook (Joy Abigail Cañas). It was the very first
status I have read for the day. Unintentionally, I have read it and it says:
Never start to say, “Well, I wonder if He really did speak to me?” Be
reckless immediately— totally unrestrained and willing to risk everything— by
casting your all upon Him. You do not know when His voice will come to you, but
whenever the realization of God comes, even
in the faintest way imaginable, be determined to recklessly abandon yourself,
surrendering everything to Him.
You will only recognize His voice more clearly through recklessness— being willing to risk your all.
You will only recognize His voice more clearly through recklessness— being willing to risk your all.
I guess this is the clearest message He gave me
in my 27 years of existence on earth. I have to take the job offer. How stupid
I was and childish for asking signs when all I have to do is follow His lead
and entrust it all to Him. Erwin often says “When you’re in doubt, don’t”. But
why do we have to doubt in the first place.
"We step right out with recognition of God in some things, then
self-consideration enters our lives and down we go. If you are truly
recognizing your Lord, you have no business being concerned about how and where
He engineers your circumstances. The things surrounding you are real, but when you look at
them you are immediately overwhelmed, and even unable to recognize Jesus. Then
comes His rebuke, “. . . why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:31). Let
your actual circumstances be what they may, but keep recognizing Jesus,
maintaining complete reliance upon Him. If you debate for even one second when God has spoken, it is all over
for you." (utmost.org/keep-recognizing-jesus/)
Thank you Lord for helping me out with this
decision. Please be with me always.
